My oldest son and daughter in December '99.
The year was 1998, and I was a brand new mama at the ripe old age of 21 when I heard about homeschooling for the first time. With my infant son sleeping in his carrier next to me, I sat in the sanctuary of Community Bible Church in Beaufort, South Carolina, listening to Audrey, the pastor’s wife, talk about homeschooling. God whispered to my heart then and there that He wanted that adventure for me. With time He also showed me that my children were to be my ministry. Now that little infant is a thirteen year old boy and I’ve been blessed with three more babies, all of whom have left toddler-hood far behind them.
In the beginning I was so lost and insecure. Could I teach my child? What should I teach him? I read any book I could get my hands on, all of which confused me. Classical education? Unschooling? School at home? Read early? Better late than early? And what the heck are “living books”? All of these professional opinions… all of them saying something different. I was more overwhelmed than before.
So I did what a lot of new to homeschooling mothers do… I paid big bucks for a complete all in one education in a box. Like runners at the starting line, we were off! Off to a rocky start that is. You see, my oldest has learning disabilities. He was a late talker, and when he did talk it wasn’t very clear. He’d get frustrated with the work and break down into tears and tantrums. Concerned grandparents, armed with their stories from friends of children forever behind because of the lack of proper intervention, were telling me he needed the help of a professional. It all came crashing down on me, I knew God wanted me to home school, but I couldn’t break through the wall my son was stuck behind.
Our family in 2004.
I sought the help of a speech therapist at the local DOD school. We would go for half an hour a week, and she’d give me things to work on at home. It did help and with time he made some improvements. It didn’t take long and the suggestions started coming. He could spend more time at the school and participate in this activity. If he was in so and so’s class they could work on that activity. Every week the teacher, who truly did mean well, would have another suggestion for a great opportunity, all meaning my little man would be spending less and less time at home where I thought he belonged.
So I prayed. Was I being selfish, and just not wanting to let my baby go? Was it time for me to allow my son to go to a “real school” where he’d succeed? Then it dawned on me. My son spent 30 minutes a week at the school… he spent over 150 minutes working on things at home. It wasn’t his time at the school that was making the difference. It was the time he spent with me, now that I had the tools I needed to help him with his speech. God had shown me that His way was the best way… still.
As time passed, I still struggled to find the right fit for us. I discovered that the home school community was vast and varied. What was a perfect fit for one family could be a horrible nightmare for another. I ventured away from the all in one curriculum and started searching each subject area for different programs. I embraced the fact that as long as my little guys were learning something, it was a day well spent. I say “guys” because my daughter had joined the ‘schooling’ ranks by then.
My four blessings in March 2006.
More time passed, and life as a military family brought changes. And boy oh boy were there struggles! One year I felt lead to enroll them in the public school. It was a very hard time in my life, things were falling apart all around me. Thankfully we lived in a teeny tiny town, and the school there was one of the best in the state. It was filled with good teachers who worked long hours and were there for the right reasons. Though I had my youngest at home with me, I was sure to
eat lunch at school with my oldest three once a week, needless to say all of their teachers knew me by name. At first it was okay… but as the year went on, it started to affect our family. My oldest was picked on at school, and his behavior at home was showing it. My daughter was miserable and often asked me to bring her back home. My youngest son, who is a smart little cookie, started having behavioral problems because he was bored at school. I begged them to give him more challenging work, but they didn’t believe me. We even sought out a councilor who came to the same conclusion, but they disagreed with it, so his behavior continued to worsen and he stalled academically. Before the year was over, I was more than ready to bring my kids back home.
Four happy kids ~ January 2008
Oddly enough, their one year in public school reaffirmed my homeschooling decision. My oldest, who struggles with reading and spelling did not improve despite all the “personalized intervention” they gave him. It turns out he didn’t struggle because I wasn’t “qualified” to help him. He struggles just because he does, he also happens to excel at math. My daughter was so glad to be home again. She had started to hate learning, thankfully that’s no longer the case, and she happily declares “Science is my favorite!” once again. My younger son had made very little progress; it seemed as if the whole year was a waste. Once I opened the gate to more challenging work, he took off like a race horse. To this day, he does the same work his older siblings do, just because he can. But even more important than all of that, our family ties started to improve.
Now, I know that homeschooling is not for everyone. In fact, I wouldn’t be able to do it if it weren’t for God’s calling on my life. And though I still have family members who question my decision (especially now that we’re nearing the highschool years) I have no questions what so ever that I’m doing what is right for my family. Home schooling is natural to us. When the local school bus drives down our road every weekday morning at 6:45 am, I can’t imagine my children on it. It’s taken me years to find the right “how to” fit for us. It turns out we’re a mixed bag. A little bit of this, and a little bit of that suits us well. And I am positive that our methods will change as we change. That is the awesome thing about homeschooling. It’s always changing and adapting to who you are, and where you’re at in life.
Our favorite activity in March 2011.
So if you’re thinking about homeschooling, I’d like to encourage you. First, be sure it is what God wants you to do, then go for it! I am pretty sure you’re gonna mess up, there will be mistakes, and days when you want to give up. But hang in there. Feel free to experiment! Ask around and see what others suggest. But also don’t feel like you have to do what everyone else is doing. Families are different. There is no right or wrong way to home school. Try to be flexible, pray hard, and have fun with learning.
